Movin' Out

Release day was November 16th. All four of us had eagerly anticipated this date for weeks. Some of us were a little anxious as to how our boys would do out in the real world. And one of us just didn't want to deal with any new squirrel expenses.

Regardless, we opened the cage door to freedom and waited. And waited.

It's not like we expected them to give a quick wave and dash off never to be seen again.

But it's been 9 days now. And they won't leave.

Oh sure, they venture out every morning when I open the cage door at the crack of dawn. They scamper. They cavort.

It's actually really cute and quite entertaining to watch their antics.

They run like crazy across the big wooden playset in the backyard. When one of them reached the pinnacle the other day, I thought I heard him yell "Top of the world, Ma!" Then I realized it was Mr C adding his own sound bites.

One of their new favorite playthings is the patio screen. We're talking about four panels of 5' x 6' vertical climbing joy. Sometimes a couple of the boys will position themselves so that they're directly opposite our kitchen sliding glass doors.

They just hang there watching us. I think they remember when they were inside a cage all day while we watched them. One's probably saying to the other "Let's see what they do now!"

But they won't leave.

Spider X says I shouldn't give them anymore acorns and vegies. That they should forage 100% on their own. Maybe he's right.

The boys remind me of older adult children who never leave home. They take up residence in a tiny apartment over the garage.

Some folks have said that our squirrels will move on once they "mature." Until then I'm happy to share our yard with them. But they'll have to find there own nuts.

Hooked on Seed

It's so sad when you see an innocent guy getting hooked on the hard stuff.

That blue box is actually there for the birds. The contents? Sunflower seeds.

The furry sitting right in the center of the seeds is one of our newly released squirrels. He was used to eating vegies and greens and acorns...the food of squirrel champions. Until now.

So what's wrong with sunflower seeds, you ask?

Well, they contain some stuff that's not so good for squirrels. But that doesn't stop them from wanting it.

Okay, I'll admit it...we gave them some seed when they were younger. We thought it was okay. But they got kind of...well...mean and loopy.

Yes, the cold, hard truth is that they were...intoxicated.

So we stopped giving the seed and got them into a program. I'm happy to say that, in their 4 months of life, they've been clean for 30 days!

Until this guy found his way to this den of iniquity.

I found him sitting in the box in the morning...and then almost stretched out laying in it around noon. He didn't even go home for a nap...how embarrassing. And here he is just before dark.

He knows what he's done is wrong. You can see it all over his face. You can almost hear him saying "Uh-oh! I'm busted!"

But it's okay. We still love him!

The squirrels!!!!!

Don’t they look cute?

This was my thought as I climbed into the squirrel’s release cage. And then locked myself in.

“Wait a minute! Hold the phone!” you say.

Okay. Let me back up a little here.

You’re wondering why I have a cage with squirrels in it. Yes, squirrels – plural. And why I would get into this cage.

Sounds crazy, right?

Then you are in complete agreement with Spider X.

So here’s the story in a nutshell. (Nope. Couldn’t help it. Too funny.)

Over the summer the Chicklets and I found 3 baby squirrels in a neighbors’ yard. One was already on the ground while the other two came flying falling out of their nest in a queen palm.

They were tiny, pitiful, and cute. Yeah, I said cute. Even after all the battles I’ve had with squirrels over my bird feeders, I still said cute.

Long story short…we contacted a wildlife rehabber who advised us on what to do. Even though we tried, the mother never returned so we decided to raise the 5-week-old furries.

Whoops. I mean, Spider X agreed to let the Chicklets and me raise the poor orphans until they are old enough to be released back into the wild when they’re 16 weeks old. As a great homeschool experience. (Whew, that was close.)

So over the past 11 weeks, my family has taken care of these 3 boys pretty much like you care for a baby. But without the diapers.

Yes, you guessed it. We’ve even kept track of their bathroom habits. Enough said, okay? You really don’t want to know that.

So with all the holding during round the clock feedings of formula, you start to get attached. Even after they get weaned you still look fondly at them hoping you won’t miss them too much when they’re released.

Really?

Which brings me back to “getting into the cage.”

So when they hit 14 weeks of age, Spider X built a sweet release cage (with help from the rest of the family). It’s 5’ x 3’ x 5’ of happy squirrel heaven. Batteries not included.

So the cage is big enough for me to stand hunched over crouched inside with a perfect little ante-room.

What’s an ante-room, you say?

Okay, it’s like this. I walk into a 2’ x 3’ x 5’ caged area, close the door and lock the slide-bolt behind me.

Definitely not for the claustrophobic. Tough-guy Spider X would be crying like a baby in there. I love you, honey!

So then I unlock the inner door that opens to the main “squirrel chamber.” This is where the furries live with hulking tree branches and their very own brand new car nest box.

So now you understand about the ante-room. It keeps the squirrels from getting out.

People too, for that matter.

So I get in the cage the other afternoon with a snack for the boys. They’d already eaten their daily veg in the morning, but we usually visit them later with some flowers to nibble.

Nibble. Let’s remember that word.

I locked myself into the ante-room and unlocked the main inner door.

In hindsight, this was my first mistake.

In my hand I had 3 chunks of rodent chow. Each one perfectly sized for a squirrel to munch for a good 1-2 minutes. I decide to stay and wait until they finish eating and then offer the big, red hibiscus they love.

Here was mistake number two. Dine and dash takes on a whole new meaning now.

By the way, are you familiar with welder’s gloves? They feel soft inside, but no sharp object can penetrate them. Spider X got me a pair last month after one of the boys got mad and tried to use his teeth as a meat cleaver on my finger.

Well, I wasn’t wearing my gloves. Yup. Mistake three.

So the boys finish their chow and return to me looking for more food. I proudly offered them the gorgeous hibiscus. They sniffed it but pushed past it to sniff the palm of my hand. Where I had previously held the chow chunks.

“Come on, guys,” I said as I put the flower on the ground. But they kept sniffing my hand.

By this time I had one boy on my shoulder and another jumped to my arm. I’m used to this. They think I’m a warm tree they can run around on for kicks.

The third guy was mesmerized by my toes which sported garnet nail polish. Possibly looking like chunks of beets. Which they eat. That’s when I started feeling nervous.

As I’m trying to keep beet-boy from getting too close to my tootsies, the furry on my arm crawled to my hand again. He was sniffing the tip of my thumb intently now and gave a soft nibble. As I’m firmly saying “No” (like this would work), he decides I must be rodent chow and chomps down hard, sinking his needle-like teeth into my thumb. “AAaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!”

Now comes the fun, fast and furious.

Chompy-boy jumps off, apparently satisfied that no, my digit is not edible. I tell my daughter, Catz, to run in the house and get me some paper towels. By now I’m bleeding quite a bit. From the hand that smells of rodent chow. And the other boys didn’t get the memo that I’m basically just MEAT!

So they’re still crawling all over me trying to get to my chow-smelling hand. That’s still bleeding.

Thankfully, Catz returns in a flash. But now we have a new dilemma. How do I get the paper towels from her?!?

“Oh Lord, please help me!!” I cry out.

Well, that sweet child figures it out and slides the towels between the top of the door and the frame. Woohoo!

But then I take stock: I’m still locked in a cage. Bleeding. With blood on the wood floor. I’m nearly doing the hokey-pokey just so a squirrel doesn’t try to taste my foot. Oh yeah, and rodents are crawling all over me.

Who doesn’t see a bad B-movie here?

So after a couple more hours minutes of the human tree lady buffet, they all ran inside their chamber and I slammed closed their door and did the only thing I had on my mind.

Escape.

By the way, my smart girl, Catz, apparently got her common sense from her daddy, Spider X. Because me walking into a squirrel cage kind of removes me from the running.